


Dyed Red

by Bvffy



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 20:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16772794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bvffy/pseuds/Bvffy
Summary: The blood dyed the green of her suit red.





	Dyed Red

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

Her vision tunnelled as she looked down at the sword in her chest. It was surprisingly cold for something that glowed so brightly. The feeling of ice spreading through her veins was enough for her to inhale sharply, gasping around the pain it caused. She became vaguely aware that it shouldn’t take this much effort to breathe.

But then her attention was being drawn back up to harsh, brown eyes – so unlike the friendly, warm colour she had grown used to over the years. A smirk spread across Kaldur’s lips. “Welcome back,” he whispered against her ear in a voice Artemis didn’t recognise anymore.

There was another sharp pain in her chest when he ripped the sword out of her, just as easily as if he were slicing through butter. She looked down again to see blood dripping down her stomach, instinctively reaching up to cup the wound, even as she stumbled back and away from the man she used to call family.

Her body was weirdly light all of a sudden, everything falling in and out of focus. Kaldur’s retreating form was no more than a blur in the distance. She couldn’t control her legs any more than she could control the panic seizing her when they gave out beneath her.

She expected to hit the cold, sandy ground, but instead she fell into something warm; strong arms wrapping around her back protectively. They gently lowered her to the ground, but she could no longer distinguish between the pain spreading throughout her body and the world around her.

Nothing seemed to make sense as she tried to breathe but couldn’t force the air into her lungs. The pain was lessening now, giving away to a paralyzing numbness that slowly took over her body. Her vision was turning black and she couldn’t feel anything at all.

The last thing she heard was Dick muttering “I’ve got you,” as she faded away.

~~~~~~~~~

There was too much blood. He couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop it and she wasn’t breathing. She couldn’t die. Not now; not like this.

There was no way to stop the bleeding, even when the crimson liquid began oozing up between his fingers as he tried applying pressure to the wound. His gloves were now soaked in her blood, staining the black fabric a dark red.

He needed to stay calm, remember his training. There was no time to get the first aid supplies from the bioship, and she wasn’t responding, so he would have to start CPR. He had done it before, trained for hours to get the technique right, his mentor having told him that it would be useful someday. It had never occurred to him that this was what Batman had meant by that.

Positioning his hands over her chest, he began chest compressions, leaving red handprints on the green fabric as he worked. The rhythmical movement did nothing to stop his rising sense of dread, only serving to increase it the higher he counted and the more time passed in which she didn’t open her eyes.

“1, 2, 3....” Nothing.

“13, 14, 15...” Not a breath.

“19, 20, 21...” The only sound was his counting.

“28, 29, 30...” She had no heartbeat.

Dick fell back onto the sand, vaguely aware of Connor and M’gann standing behind him. The COMSAT had taken off somewhere to his left; exploding moments later in a blaze of orange light. None of that mattered when Artemis was lying, unmoving, in front of him. In the light, he could see the blood soaking the green of her suit red.

The same blood that covered his own hands. “She’s dead,” he announced into the stillness.

~~~~~~~~~

When people asked M’gann what she saw in their mind, she always told them it was like looking at a rainbow. Nobody really seemed to understand what she meant by that, but they would smile broadly anyway and take it as a compliment.

She was glad because she didn’t think that, if they asked, she would be able to tell them quite what it was like to delve deep into someone’s thoughts and feelings. And somehow, describing how Dick’s mind swirled red and white, tinged with a sadness that still lingered, felt like stripping him of his privacy.

Something she had learnt when she had first gone into Connor’s mind and been met with a blue so dark it was almost black, with only the slightest hint of white that reminded her of the night sky. It had felt like being free and being trapped all at once.

Artemis had always been her favourite, though. What had started as a murky green, radiating anger and resentment, had slowly morphed into leaves and grass and life. A green so vibrant that M’gann could spot it in a crowded room, even when her senses were being overloaded with noise.

It had been her safe space – home at her lowest points.

Now, there was no green to break her fall. There was nothing there at all.

~~~~~~~~~

When her mum died, Zatanna had never felt so heartbroken. When her dad had put on the helmet so she could be free, she had felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. When she had first moved into the Cave, she had felt a loneliness so hollow, she thought she would never be whole again.

But none of that compared to the undiluted dread that filled her when the rocket exploded.

Vague screaming came over the TV’s speakers as the light cleared to reveal smoke rising into the night sky. The camera followed the broken, flaming scraps of metal plummeting back to Earth, but Zatanna wasn’t watching that.

Every frame that flashed by, she found herself searching for blonde hair and a green suit. She knew it was futile when five minutes passed and the screen cut to a slightly dishevelled Kat Grant desperately trying to explain that it was some sort of mechanical failure that had caused the explosion.

Zatanna knew enough about tonight’s mission to know that probably wasn’t the case. Which meant something must have gone horribly wrong.

She took a deep breath and tried to remind herself that Artemis had chosen to go on this mission as a favour to Nightwing. She was still more than capable of holding her own, even if she hadn’t been out on the field for a while. There was nothing to worry about.

Her girlfriend had promised she would come home safe. She couldn’t lose anyone else – not again.

~~~~~~~~~

_“I... I don’t hear her heartbeat.”_

They were back at the Cave now, but Connor still couldn’t stop picturing blood-soaked sand where Artemis’ body had been.

_Her body._

Not Artemis. Just _her body_.

Because she was dead.

He hadn’t spoken since then. What was there to say? Nothing seemed appropriate, too callous or blunt. Not for the first time, he wished he was better at this. He wished he knew what to say, how to act, what was expected of him.

Crying had never been his style, sympathy made him want to punch something and discussing his feelings only made him angrier and more frustrated. None of it would change what happened. Artemis would still be dead, no matter how many tears were shed and “I’m sorry for your loss” were spoken in mock sincerity.

M’gann’s quiet sobs made it worse, somehow. Alone on the couch, head in hands, her body shook with each exhale. Artemis had been her best friend, Connor knew, and it didn’t seem right for her to be grieving by herself. Artemis never would have wanted that.

He was walking towards her, thinking over what he could say, when Beast Boy sat down beside her, wrapping a comforting arm around her back. He stopped, ignoring the bitter resentment that came with it. She probably would have preferred Beast Boy’s company over his own anyway – especially with Fish Face abducted too.

Mal approached him then, glancing around, before saying lowly, “Where’s Nightwing? He should be here.”

Connor sighed. “He went to tell Zatanna.”

~~~~~~~~~

Dick stood at the end of the street for what felt like an age. He knew in reality, it was probably no more than a couple minutes, but all the time in the world could have passed and he doubted he would have moved. Their house was right in front of him, the light from a lamp telling him that somebody was still up despite the late hour.

Zatanna was waiting for someone who would not be coming home.

The realisation hit him like a slap to the face, tightening the knot of guilt forming in his chest. After all, it was him who had asked Artemis for help; him who had been so selfish to make that request and it was him who was still alive despite that.

He made himself walk forward, one step at a time, to the door – to what he would have to do next. How was he supposed to tell her? None of it was fair. Kaldur shouldn’t be this far gone, Artemis shouldn’t be dead and Zatanna shouldn’t have to go through losing another person she loves. But she deserved to hear it from him.

He knocked.

Almost instantly, the door was flung open, bathing the porch in a yellow glow. Zatanna stood on the other side, the relief on her face morphing into confusion, then quickly to panic. That knot of guilt was making it hard to breathe. Zatanna didn’t move from where she was stood in the doorway. “Where’s Artemis?”

“Zatanna...” he started, trailing off when he realised he had no idea what to say. From the way her world seemed to come crashing down behind her eyes, there was nothing he could say.

She shook her head, a hushed “no” passing through her lips.

“I’m sorry,” Dick said quietly. “I’m so sorry, Zatanna.”

~~~~~~~~~

_“Promise me you’ll come home safe,” Zatanna said, gently cupping Artemis’ cheeks so she could look into her eyes._

_Artemis sighed softly, taking Zatanna’s hands in her own. “I promise.”_

Zatanna wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t speak a word. She wanted to move, but her legs wouldn’t carry her. She wanted Artemis to jump out from behind Dick and tell her this was all one massive joke.

But she knew, deep down, that Artemis wasn’t there. That Dick had come alone to tell her...

She swallowed. “Where is she?”

“The Cave,” said Dick, “Green Arrow is with her.”

She nodded. That was good, Artemis would have wanted Oliver there. Then again, knowing Artemis, she probably would have wanted everyone there. She would have wanted a party in her honour and banned Wally from eating any of the food until he had cried over her coffin.

Her laughter turned into a choked sob. She covered her mouth as another sob broke from her lips, flooding the quiet room with the truth she refused to speak. Artemis was dead; she was alone again, just like before. The tears she had been holding back blurred her vision and ran down her cheeks to the carpeted floor.

Artemis’s last words to her echoed in her mind. _I promise_.

~~~~~~~~~

M’gann knew she shouldn’t be wishing Connor was by her side. Not when Lagoon was currently in the hands of Black Manta, being subjected to who knows what. But she was anyway.

She wanted his midnight blue sky, lined with stars and wonder, to wrap around her mind just one more time. It was a selfish thing, she knew, to turn to Connor when she had nobody else – when Connor so obviously didn’t want her around. There was nothing she could say because she knew it was her fault.

Now wasn’t the time to make things right.

Her head was pounding, her eyes tired and swollen from all the crying, but she couldn’t stop the overwhelming swell of emotions that came whenever she thought about the events of the last few hours. 

Green Arrow had appeared not along after they had got back, telling Nightwing that he would take it from here. Dick had shaken his head mutely and replied with, “Someone has to tell Zatanna and I’d rather it was me.”

So often, she wondered how they could stay so level-headed and composed. She wondered what type of Hell they must have gone through to look at Artemis’s body and not break entirely.

~~~~~~~~~

There wasn’t a joke in the world that could change the look on Dick’s face as his boyfriend let himself into their apartment. The door closed with barely a sound, as if Dick was hoping Wally wouldn’t notice him coming home. The thought hurt just a little, but he pushed past it, aware of what he would have face.

After all, he had known Dick long enough now to realise when he was hurting, when he was happy or sad, angry or disappointed. Right now, he could tell by the slight hunch of his shoulders, that Dick was hurting.

He couldn’t rush in though. He had learned that Dick needed time and space to sort through his feelings himself before he came to anyone else. And whenever he did, he often didn’t tell them the whole truth. The lie wouldn’t quite meet his eyes the same way it would when he truly meant what he was saying.

But he wouldn’t be able to lie his way out of her death the same way he could when he got hurt or something didn’t quite go according to plan.

So Wally waited. Seated on the couch, a rerun of some old show playing in the background, he watched as Dick hung up his jacket and took off his shoes. The same routine as usual, but slowed by an indescribable grief.

When Dick finally turned around to look at him, Wally was on his feet in an instant, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s back. The tension left Dick’s shoulders and he pulled Wally closer, burying his head in Wally’s neck.

“It’s all my fault. She’s dead because of me.” His voice was muffled against Wally’s hoodie, but he heard every word clear as day. It turned his blood to ice.

He saw Kaldur the day he betrayed the Team. The grief and pain that laced his features, turned into something deadly and dangerous. How terrified Artemis must have been on that beach to face him like they hadn’t once been friends. “No,” he said with lethal quiet, “it’s not your fault.”

~~~~~~~~~

Artemis was everywhere, but not there at all.

It didn’t matter which room Zatanna went into, she would always see something that reminded her of Artemis. Whether it was her clothes or the lingering scent of her favourite lavender soap, it felt like she was breathing in a poison and an antidote at the same time.

She entered their bedroom and nearly rolled her eyes at the mess on the bed. Artemis had left her school textbooks sprawled over the blankets again, wide open like they were waiting for her to return to them.

For a second, Zatanna could picture Artemis sitting on the bed with her hair up, scowling at something she didn’t understand. Then, like always, she would groan and throw it down, mumbled about ‘nonsense words’ and ‘incoherent structure’ as if should have been easy to understand.

Then she blinked and Artemis was gone. The room was dark and cold, the bed empty and the books a silent taunt to the fact that she would not study from them again. Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, she moved the books to the desk in the corner.

There, she found Artemis’s favourite khaki green hoodie thrown haphazardly over the desk chair. She remembered Artemis wearing this on their third date: they had gone to the cinema to see a movie that hadn’t been worth the price they paid. But afterwards, Artemis had taken her hand and kissed her for the first time. In that moment, she had known, she wasn’t alone anymore.

It was soft to the touch, just how she remembered it being, so Zatanna put it on, letting herself be engulfed by the smell of lavender.

When she reached the bed, she crawled onto Artemis’s side and closed her eyes. It still smelt like her and Zatanna let herself believe Artemis had come home.

~~~~~~~~~

The funeral was a solemn occasion.

Rain, not gentle or quiet, but loud and pounding against the church exterior echoed through the walls to fill the heavy silence. It seemed fitting for the clouds that rolled past to be as black as the suit Connor was wearing. The weather a reflection of the sorrow and anger that filled the open space.

It was a living thing, that rage. Boiling in the minds of those who surrounded him, turning their weary eyes dark with malice. He felt it too, towards Kaldur, Nightwing, even M’gann. And himself for what he had failed to do – the ‘what if’s’ he had let his mind purposefully spiral into every waking hour. 

He hadn’t dared look at Zatanna, sitting in the front row with Artemis’s mother, for fear that he would snap completely. There were so many things he should have done to save her, yet he hadn’t and now her coffin rested in front of him.

They called her a hero in the eulogy, but Connor couldn’t help but think how fragile she was in the end. Scared, unable to defend herself. He doubted she would have felt like a hero when her life was ebbing away; telling herself that it was okay because “she was a hero to the world.”

Just because they wore cloaks, masks and those god damn monkey suits, everyone thought they were invincible. Nothing could harm them because they were heroes, destined to fight for justice whatever the cost.

Even if the cost was a polished oak coffin, engraved with arrows and lowered into the ground far too soon. People were crying all around him, as he watched her name get covered in soil, her legacy would only be known to so few. Her death only serving as a reminder for them all of what the costs could be.

Connor didn’t want to be called a hero, if this was the kind of cost he had to pay. 

~~~~~~~~~

When Kaldur rounded the corner, M’gann was hit by an anger so strong it was blinding. They had taken the ship by storm, getting everyone out as quickly as they could, but running into Kaldur was like a dream come true.

Looking at him, all she could see was her best friend’s broken body on that beach. Blood soaking her clothes, the sand, Nightwing’s gloves. So much blood, it had dyed the green of her suit red. It had taken away her home. He had taken away her home.

For the briefest moment, fear flickered in Kaldur’s eyes and M’gann stopped, hesitated. They had been friends, he had been her leader and she had trusted him with her life. Could she really do this to him? Then she imagined the fear Artemis must have felt before he had stabbed her and that rage came screaming back.

“Murderer!” she growled, flinging out her power with everything she had.

Thoughts that weren’t her own filled her head. Blue waves, crested with sorrow and grief, crashed down in her mind and she saw Atlantis in ruins, Tula’s monument in the Cave and the Team in mourning. Then, it was gone and a vast nothingness crept through the cracks and took its place.

M’gann fell to her knees, unable to look away from Kaldur’s vacant stare.

~~~~~~~~~

When Zatanna thought more and more about it, she was glad it had been M’gann who had gotten to Kaldur first.

She had dreamed about her revenge, the magic she would wield to bring Kaldur to his knees. The anger that would have fuelled her every move and thought to make him suffer how she was suffering now. She had wanted him to feel all of it, to know what he done to her when he had killed Artemis on that beach.

But when she had seen M’gann afterwards and Beast Boy had explained everything, it hadn’t been satisfying or relieving like she thought it would be. It was like all the bitterness had left her body and a tiredness that sleep couldn’t cure was left in its place.

Artemis was gone; revenge wouldn’t bring her back. Nothing would, but she had to accept that and keep going. Even if it was hard to go to sleep at night without Artemis keeping her warm, or to wake up knowing she wouldn’t be by her side.

She had to keep going because Artemis would have wanted her to.

~~~~~~~~~

_“We’ll laugh about this someday.”_

It was cold and dark on the roof of the apartment building, but Dick found himself staring at that photo he had taken so long ago, when they were both so full of hope for the future, and smiling.

There was a lot he regretted, things he would always feel guilty for, but Artemis would punch him in the face for it if she was here. 

So, while he doubted he would ever look at that photo and laugh, he knew that for now, it was enough to just smile and remember everything she had been. And everything she would mean in the future, to all of them.


End file.
